at the first we met, I turned away.

You looked like the man I had imagined as perfection,

From your eyes to your shoulders, you were what I had imagined

and I told myself, every girl does see her soul through your beauty.

Your physical magnetism would not end me.

The man I was with, I had broke his heart once too many,

I turned away, as you talked to my then story.

I acted indifferent, but you had pulled me in then.

I checked your world only to confirm the world of the other.

Time passed and it was a winter night.

I remembered the old. I remembered the only soul that could have made me cry.

I remembered his pain and his aches. I remembered waiting patiently for him to be okay. I remembered the first love of my life.

I vowed I would never forget him and if he should return, I would be his. We did not belong in one another’s worlds but I would, because of his sadness and darkness, give up my life for his.

My first love did not return and I carried his lock he kept me in. The then admirer I had met you with never really mattered…and I could not hide that I was compromising me for the guarantee of love and security.

And then you entered as you. I did not recognize you as first.

You simply made my heart trust all through the simple smile you gave.

I was drawn instantly to your smile and I wondered where I saw you before.

I did not care that he was your friend when remembered I how we met.

I was amazed that you also had a mind,

and there you captivated my respect.

Shyness marked my moves but I could not understand my pull to you.

I ventured to come closer still…but could not make my first move.

and then one day, a mean girl came and sat next to you.

all hope was gone and I was not one to fight for you.

Yet you ignored her and turned to face the shy child, still not in bloom.

And there you one my heart as I saw you had one of the finest of all.

I spoke to you.

And I learned and the more I learned, the less I saw your face as beauty but as a reflection of your heart, the less I saw your intelligence as a mark of perfection but of a man who tries and will, in all certainty, go far.

And I learned to see the man in you and I learned I wanted to support you, to cover the vulnerabilities you so need to protect and keep hidden, and I loved your truth. Your truth sung to my heart like a song I already knew.

My culture comes and brings lovers.

I am at the age for many.

Many would call me blessed and I cannot argue.

And yet I am cursed that the lavish attention that they give to who once would not amount to much cares not for revenge or to stand as their queen.

I simply want another world, always did, always have, always will.

And my first love returned but I knew it was too late.

He was of a different creation: though love him, I could never be with him.

And his sadness I would try to rid but never again could I be his.

And your friend smiles too, he has found what is right for him.

I am too young and you are even younger.

But I want to thank you, thank you so much of letting me see who I am and what I want and what I can be.

I saw it through your reflection.

And even if we will not be, I am thankful for learning so much of you, so much of me.

Yours,

E’s mate.